A Reliquary for Grief and Healing

15 Oct A Reliquary for Grief and Healing

“Tell me what it was like being married to Jamie.”

I listened intently to the response to come. He spoke of moments and memories he had shared with his late wife during their four-year marriage. He spoke of a young woman with a vision for a better world. He spoke of a woman who withheld judgment in order to show love instead.

Nation and Jamie Hahn

“She truly believed in people more than they believed in themselves,” he said. And that applied to everyone. Everyone.

The horrific and unexpected death of Nation Hahn’s wife, Jamie Kirk Hahn, left him in a place he never thought he’d be. Their love had been swift and pure, and they had anticipated a long life together.

It didn’t happen that way.

Nation came to my studio to talk about Jamie’s wedding band. He wanted it close to him, and he also wanted something more secure and thoughtful than just putting a chain through it. At the point of our first meeting, not even four weeks had passed since Jamie’s death. I had read the news articles about the events that led to her death. But that told me little about her essence and the nature of their relationship. I needed to know more about her and them in order to design something for Nation.

We began talking that day about milestones they shared, pivotal events in their life together, and – most importantly – we talked about all the little things that comprised their shared human and spiritual experiences. Our conversation continued electronically in the coming weeks as Nation trusted me with more of their story, quotes that resonated with them, favorites of this and that, photos, notes, and more.

The night before our first meeting, I dreamt about the reliquary I would later make for Nation. I saw the piece in my dream, all the mechanical and aesthetic problems already solved for me. I am grateful for that Divine gift given to me that night as I slept.

Nation now wears Jamie’s wedding band inside a reliquary neckpiece. Her ring is held inside, in its original form.

Essentially, a reliquary is a container for a sacred object. Jamie’s wedding band is indeed precious to Nation. My hope is that the piece will also be an instrument of healing for him – something that helps him feel her presence and process his grief as well as accompanying him as he moves to a place of recovery from his loss.

I believe that when we pray for healing, it always comes. Sometimes it comes in the restoration of the original form. Sometimes it comes in the transformation to something new.

On the exterior of the piece, I replicated Jamie’s handwriting and message from the anniversary card she had written for Nation just days before her death. Her message, “I love you to the moon!” is appliquéd in white gold, raised so that he can simply touch and feel those words anytime he needs to.

The other side contains six symbols. Jamie and Nation were fond of a quote from Alice Kingsley: “I always try to accomplish six impossible things before breakfast.” Nation chose six things to be represented on the reliquary – things that remind him of Jamie:
-Carolina blue, for their alma mater, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
-northward directional mark, as Jamie was his “true north”
-the South Carolina palmetto, for her home state
-a cooking pot, for Jamie’s love of cooking
-a grace note, as you could always tune yourself to her
-a lobster, referencing the line from “Friends” in which characters Ross and Rachel liken themselves to lobsters, who mate for life.

The two sections of the reliquary snap together with Jamie’s ring inside. The handmade chain is continuous, and passes through the reliquary sections as well as the ring. The piece is a mix of 14K sunset gold and 14K palladium white gold. The construction includes a mix of techniques – hydraulic die forming, gold alloying, hand fabrication, appliqué, and forging.

Throughout my career, I must say the most poignant word of gratitude I have ever received came from Nation: “Again, thank you so much for the necklace…. I woke up this morning gripping it in my hand.”

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Nation and other friends and family of Jamie have launched a foundation to honor Jamie’s memory and vision for a better world. Learn more about the Jamie Kirk Hahn Foundation here. (Learn more)

From the foundation:

Jamie Kirk Hahn’s was a life well lived.  She was a wife, a daughter, a volunteer, a political activist, an animal lover, an idealist, and a friend to everyone she met. In her journal, Jamie wrote that by the end of her life, she hoped to have started something that had an impact. Her work, her values and her inspiration live on through the Jamie Kirk Hahn Foundation.

There are a number of inaugural events planned to launch the foundation, including a day of service with the Interfaith Food Shuttle and Jamie’s 30th Birthday Jam. Read more about all the events planned in Raleigh and in Washington, DC here. 

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Special thanks to those who recommended my work to Nation and facilitated our meeting: Gwyn Pearce, Cynthia Deis, Ndidi Kowalczyk, Tiffany Coley, and Melissa Lowery.